It Is Not a Discipline Problem.
It's a mindset shift that stops you from thinking you are in a cycle of self sabotage.
”Hi, I feel like I’m losing my mind and going through it so I’m going to warn you that now…”
“Hence why I had to cancel my thing for tomorrow.”
I got a few frantic messages from a client midday on a Sunday. She is six weeks into FUNCTION, and that is also six weeks of normal life living as well; work, commuting, city life, socializing, dealing with industry dynamics, making rent, career highs and lows.
Recognizing that this outreach was out of a place of panic, and not power, I simply asked if she wanted to reschedule for later that week, or push it out to the following week entirely. I could sense the pressure building from the other end of the phone. Then these responses came in.
“Could potentially do next Monday if I’m not scheduled…”
“I feel so disconnected. It’s spiraling Sunday if you can’t tell.”
Ah, yes. The Sunday spiral. Or, if you are based in Ireland specifically, the Sunday scaries.
That moment at the end of the weekend where you are very much faced with the reality of your Monday (whether that be on the traditional Monday, or a different day of the week), and you have a sense of dread because what on earth is in store for me this week?
When life is chaotic, it is even more reason to put your wellbeing in the part of your brain that holds the non-negotiables. Yet, in your most tumultuous times you are always going to be the first thing you sacrifice. You are trying to create a hierarchy of needs as you feel life getting out of control. In the case of my client, it was a look ahead towards a jam- packed working day: commute time that needed to be factored for, groceries that needed to be ordered, hours at the desk where tasks needed to be done. That glance into the future tempted her further and further down the rabbit hole of “reasons I do not deserve to spend time on myself.”
Which is exactly where I deflected redirected the thought process. Instead of embracing the spiral with her and giving her the generic “it will all be ok,” “it is going to work out the way it should,” she was met with something more concrete that allowed her to see how to place herself in the impending week’s chaos.
“You are NOT disconnected. You are trying to figure out your hierarchy of needs and that is absolutely ok.”
You need a space where your mindset is validated, and changed. Acknowledge what you are trying to do in the name of proactivity, and stop it from becoming an action of reactivity. That’s the tough bit.
Thankfully, that’s where clients see the most success in working with me- the Sunday Spiral/ Sunday Scaries are no longer a scary spiral. It is a thought process that is undergone every end-of-weekend day; however, it is not a thought process that consumes you in the depths of “you don’t deserve to take up space here.”
Instead, it is an opportune time to frame yourself within the picture, controlling what you can and understanding that the control can only come from a place which you have power in already. You are showing up for yourself, so that you can show up for life.
Your hierarchy of needs starts there.